Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It's just like the Real World with babies
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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