Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
