the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
