Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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