I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
