It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i drank out of a bidet.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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