she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
