Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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