Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
The ass gains better be worth it
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