She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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