OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
