I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
