I just made out with a guy for $7.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
