Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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