Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
