if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize