That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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