i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
