Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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