He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Do you still have your period?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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