1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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