i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
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