Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
