you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
