She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
