how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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