He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
