he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Sorry about my life...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
