i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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