She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
