what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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