We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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