Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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