I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
