i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
