I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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