i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize