butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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