Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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