This is not my ceiling
My liver just broke up with me...
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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