My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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