Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Success! We fucked roommates!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
