So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
