508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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