Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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