i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
