There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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