I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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