I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
