your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
be right there i have to get my cape
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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