i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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