??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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