My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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