I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just google imaged poop.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
