all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
