New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
me + whiskey = a bad person
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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