Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize