I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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