You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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