I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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