We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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