Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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