I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Green mimosas i think yes
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
