so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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