I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
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