No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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